I've never lived on the coast before, in fact I'd never been out of Nanango until I met John and Bev and they took me in like a long lost son.
I like where I now live, it's a small home in a little over 55's village not far from the beach, which suits me just fine.
I even have my own room here, well that is I share the room with John and Bev's computers and have pride of place on John's desk among photos of their families.
Things were going well until this morning when John took me aside and said, "Nobby, I have a pleasant surprise for you."
"Struth", I thought, "has the old bugger gone and found me a sheila gnome for company, or something equally as exciting?"
Next thing he produces the ugliest old gnome I've ever clapped my eyes on, and says "Nobby, I'd like you to meet yout great uncle Norbert."
Struth, you could have knocked me down with a feather, what a way to stuff up a blokes Sunday morning...how could I be related to this ugly old bugger?
Great uncle Norbert looked me up and down, coughed and wheezed his onion breath in my face, and croaked "You'd better be on your best behaviour lad if you want to live here too".
Apparently great uncle Norbert had been living here for a few weeks, and had told John and Bev about me, and that I was living at Nanango on a shelf at Wayne's World, and that's why John came into Wayne's World and found me.
Great uncle Norbert claims that he's actually 200 year old a gnome wizard, and knows everything about everything...my dreams of a quiet peaceful life have just been shattered.
After thinking long and hard about running away, and even going back to Nanango, I decided that my new life could be quite an adventure, especially if John and Bev take me away in their caravan with them, so I decided that, at least for their benefit, I'd stay and try and keep right away from great uncle Norbert and his smelly breath.
John told me that Norbert is too old to travel, so he won't be coming in the caravan with us...Hoo bloody ray!
Great uncle Norbert told me that one day he'll tell me all about our family connection if I'm good, so I'm sort of looking forward to hearing that story...I just hope he hurrys up, as it's hard being good all the time.
I have no idea just how great uncle Norbert managed to worm his way into this household, but rest assured that I'll find out, and that will be another story for another day.
Yuk, I just had to stand next to great uncle Norbert and have my photo taken with him, and smell his rotten onion breath...herewe are.
 |
| Nobby and Norbert |
Anyway, I'll sign off now and catch up with you again later.
Oh, before I forget, I was rummaging around on John's computer last night and found this photo of John and Bev, so here it is...see, I told you he looks like a human garden gnome.
See ya later, I'm off to put some itching powder in great uncle Norbert's beard!
 |
| John and Bev |
